Welcome to the impromptu guide to surviving Pupilage. As depicted by a friend's (future DPP ^^) explicit list of grievances, Pupillage can be a most unpleasant and unenriching experience for some, wherein, true to the aforementioned DPP friend, the highlight of the day(s) is fantasizing of hooking up with a secretary who happens to be sweet, young and a thing. Not necessarily in that order. Failing which, settling for her name will be a sufficiently titillating experience.
Anyhow, this entry I promise shall be shorter than the other two. In fact, in the spirit of the last post, this too shall be a list. But mainly because I have less than 30 mins left to midnight and Bleach to catch.
- Proportion of pay received = Amount of time spent working. Let this be your mantra, repeat it in your sleep and be secure in the knowledge when you leave at 6 sharp while other friends may be slogging to 8, 9,10 PM; it's cause your substantially lower pay entitles you to do so.
- Service with a Smile. And we're talking of those of the above the board, good ole plain hard work variety. If you can do the stuff that needs to be done behind closed doors and/or curtains, good for you. But otherwise, accept those tedious, boring tasks cheerfully even if that smile is plastic. Then you go back to your desk and msn about it.
- Work smart, Plan well. That includes prioritizing tasks, interspersing the mentally taxing (research, drafting kts, etc) with the physically tedious ( sai kang, data entry, admin crap) and maximising the full use of your deadlines. Due Friday? Hand it in on Friday, not Wednesday. A Quick Worker gets the most jobs. A Punctual Worker gets the job done. A Slow Worker gets the boot.
- Tactical Knowledge essential to Work Control. An art to master but one you pick up quickly if you want to keep the amount of work received at a controllable and manageable rate. This includes combat skills like Stealth: not walking about aimlessly (Hey you, you're a pupil right? Got work for you!); Logic: not walking about finding out if anyone wants anything done - includes asking for more work after a task is finished; and Camouflage: Doing research at the library rather than at your desk.
- Coffee is your Friend. One big mug in the morning before work and another big mug in the afternoon (courtesy of the coffee machine- if applicable, instant coffee if not) an hour after lunch keeps that otherwise unbearable urge to nod off, away.
- So is the Pantry Auntie. You find better stuff in the pantry plus the Auntie shows you how to use the coffee machine to make espressos.
- Let's not forget the Secretaries. Because you'll need them in the very near future and even if you don't, you still need them now. For a variety of reasons. Which does not include the DPP's Dream. So be nice and if you have one sitting nearby with a radio that plays your favourite Classics station, Gold 90 FM, more power to you.
- Web Messenger it. Stressed? MSN it. Feel Cheated? MSN it. Bored or just wanna bitch about work? MSN it. Gotta stay back late for work? MSN it and we'll laugh at you.
- Look Busy. Must I say anymore? You may be busy, really busy in which case it won't be a problem. Or you have a shitload of boring tedious stuff to do. Technically, you are busy but you're bored. So you appear to be constructively busy while actually remaining terminally bored. It is an art.
- Snack Attack. When all else fails munching on something, helps to keep the blues away. If only for a while, and even though those snacks inevitably settle comfortably on your girth, increasing the rate of that already expanding waistline. And snacks always help to add brownie points with your neighbouring colleagues/secretaries and pantry auntie. I doubt they'd function as a useful bribe for tardiness in work. You try and let me know.
- Dream. If nothing inspires you any more and work is a veritable nightmare. Dream, baby dream. Of the weekend, dinner, sex, whatever. Or you can take a leaf from the DPP's book and fantasize about secretaries.
Good luck surviving. Bleach beckons.