Friday, March 9, 2007

Of Bugs and Big things.

First let me say that I am very happy. Finally finished my (long-overdue) readings for the 800 word weekly ordeal which means Insurance should be begin in earnest sometime tomorrow. Much more important though, is finally getting Vol 4 of Yellow by Makoto Tateno that completes this wonderful series after waiting for 2 months. Which means I can start enjoying the series and the Mirage of Blaze anime after handing in Insurance next week.

Second, I know. Leaving your windows open late at night and the fact that one's room is the only one with lights still on at 3am in the morning is an open invitation to an assortment of bugs to fly in. Not that I'm terribly thrilled about it but it can't really be helped. Back in the days when Oscar was still around, unwanted visitors usually found themselves deposited in the tank and greeted enthusiastically by a very thrilled Oscar. They don't call them "pig fishes" for nothing. These days, I don't trust the goldfish to be able to perform the job with the same efficacy, given the size of some of the bugs. So it's usually a quick trip to the loo for them, if I manage to catch them.

These days however, for three consecutive nights in a row. The Bugs have been suicidal, as in of their own volition. I have a ceiling fan, those nice whirly overhead things that provide enough air circulation and coverage when compared to their lesser wall mounted or standing brethren though Sean seems to hate it. "Stirs up all the dust" he says, sniffling for greater effect.
"Rubbish, it's cooler. I just need to vacumn my room more." But like I was saying the Bugs have turned suicidal. Preferring for some reason to conduct kamikaze flights straight through those whirling blades of death which must be the insectile equivalent of Russian Roulette, dancing with mega turbine blades if you will.

And they inevitably end up getting hit. If not the first time then at the second or third. Cause the stupid things don't know when to stop, going at it repeatedly like it were some mega rollercoaster joy ride. Sometimes they get hit but miraculously survive and land dazed, perhaps bruised and go back for more, if they can still fly that is. If not, it's Say-hello-to-bathroom-slipper. This goes on continually until they finally get chopped into two, pronounced by a very loud metallic "THUNK!", the sound of hard impact and... silence. L' Walk's Insect Ride of Death. Which is all very fine and dandy if I can find the remains of the cleanly severed parts (like they've been dissected) AND the bug didn't land/die/disintegrate over my bed. If not..... a lot of cussing would be in order. But seriously bugs are fucking stupid.

Third, there's nothing wrong with being fat or helplessly obese. Some people can't help it, most can but don't bother to, it doesn't matter. It's their choice. Just dress in a manner that does your body justice eh. Which means no tight mini skirts or tiny belly baring blouses which show off and draw attention to all those rolls of fat and really just makes you look horrible and cringe-worthy. People feel embarassed for you.

So there was this really clueless girl today on the escalator in front of me as I was going up from Dhoby Ghaut MRT to Paradiz, dressed in a tight blouse and a mini mini frilly skirt that made her look like some shrink wrapped Kong Bah with Extra Jumbo drumsticks. She wasn't horrendously obese just XXL but the clothes really emphasised the... ampleness of layered lard. Plus a mini mini frilly skirt that exposes legs which look like monster sized drumsticks is plain disgusting. And to top it off that "Chick" (and I use it here in the loosest sense of the word) started patting her bum in broad day light on the escalator.

She might have been scratching her ass though it looked like she was patting it, so she could have been concealing it so let's give her the benefit of the doubt. The guy in front of me positively grimaced. Yeah, I was seriously grossed out too. Even my Zhi Ma Hu at the Dessert Hut wasn't as enjoyable later. So girls and guys if you Are fat (not think you look fat - check the weighing machine/BMI) please do everyone a favour and not wear such figure hugging attire in public. And don't pat your bum if you decide to look like a shrink wrapped bundle of lard, especially not in front of me when I haven't had my bloody lunch. Thank you.

I hate unscheduled meetings, it's not his fault for sure, but my laptop battery is almost dead.... ARGH.

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