Friday, August 3, 2007

Words I wish existed.

Because the English language could always do with a few more descriptive phrases. ^^ And here's mine.

1. Anecdultery (An nek dul ter ree) n.
The moment when you are halfway through telling someone a story- acting in the know and exaggerating like mad- when you realise it was their story in the first place.

2. Boastbuster (bowst' bust ter) n.
A person who, when asked to guess how cheaply you bought something or the size of your pay rise at work; always picks a figure so extreme that your story falls completely flat.

3. Cosmetic perjury (koz met ik' pur jah ree) n
The tactful, absolutely straight faced response required when you meet an acquaintance who has proudly changed their hair, face, body in a failed attempt to improve their appearance.

4. Edgehog (edj'hog) n
A train or bus passenger who hogs the aisle seat so you have to climb over them to get to a vacant spot.

5. Eyesberg (eyz'burg) n
The icy look a teenager gives his or her mom when he/she wants her to stop talking to his/her girlfriend/boyfriend.

6. Hope couture (howp' ku toor) n
That item of clothing you keep for years in the vain hope you might be able to squeeze into some day.

7. Flaparazzi (fla pah' rah zee)n
The idiot who is always in the background of a live news report/concert, waving stupidly at the camera.

8.Tearerist (te rah' ryst)n
A person in the cinema who seems to take forever to open that bag of chips, then eats them one by one, oblivious to the noise.

9. Piece de resistance (pees' d re zis tonts) n
The last bit of food left on a plate cause everyone wants to be polite.

10 Moanotone (mown o toen) n
The faltering (fake) voice you use when you call a friend to take notes for you (or call your boss) cause you're 'sick'.

11. Shinterjection (shin' tah jek' shun) n.
At a dinner with mutual friends, the sharp kick under the table you give your partner to indicate that whatever it is they are saying, they must stop it right now.

12. Tortune (tor' tyoon) n
A catchy yet awful song that you just can't get out of your head, even after hearing it played just once.

13. Sickophant (sik oh' fun t) n
A person who is always sicker or worse off than you. If you tell them you feel bushed, they tell you try it with six kids. And when someone bangs you up, it's nothing compared to the accident they had in December 1990.

14. Veriflycation (veri fly kay' shun) n
That involuntary movement of checking the fly made by all men as they re-enter a public place after leaving the loo.

15. Fatscist (fat' cyst) n
People who militate violently against fat,viewing it as a vile abomination, be it on themselves (god forbid) or on others. Common refrains include."God, look at that lard ball!"

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