Don't Play Play.

If there's one thing I detest more than being played out (and trust me I am pissed when people play me out), it's being played out by unapologetic sods with an attitude to boot. You all know W., that wonderfully smug first ex whose glib tongue belies an ego bigger than the sum of J Lo's and Queen Latifah's butts.

I know. I've ranted about him before. But after six months of relentlessly ignoring his calls and smses, I finally relented and agreed to meet him once. It was to have been last Saturday but after returning quite smashed and considerably broke after dinner and drinks with the gang at work the night before, I called it off. So we arranged to meet again, yesterday. Lunch and perhaps a movie.

You dumb fuck! Didn't you rant and rave about him not too long ago? Or have you forgotten that you bid good riddance to him? Thoughts probably zipping through your mind as you read this.

All of which undeniably true. But you know how it is. We all know what we should do, whether we actually do it though is a different story. You know you should just stick to your dressing less salad to squeeze into that fabulous dress for xx's dinner but you just can't help ordering your tiramisu. Or in Alxx's case, her 4 servings of toffee nut latte. haha. After all, there's always the garter.

So yes I am fully aware. And W.'s not even a palatable let alone delectable temptation. But that's how it was. I digress. So we'd agreed the night before (friday) to meet around 1-2pm for Lunch and a movie. He wanted to drive over to pick me up. (Which I agreed to) And tried to squirrel a treat from me in the process. (Which naturally I refused to)

"Make Sure ah. You're always so busy, you might just end up at work." W. ended off in his usual smugly sarcastic tone.

Next day, Saturday. I got up earlier than usual (ie Noon ^^). Got ready by 1, then waited. And waited. Soon an hour passed and after a couple of SMSes and unanswered phone calls, I decided to take up Alvin's invitation for Red Alert 3 along with CS at Paradiz. As I was leaving the house, that bugger called.

"Lunch now?"
"It's 3 o'clock. We agreed to meet around 1-2 and you didn't even answer your phone."
"Aiya was sleeping wat. Lunch now?"
"Are you mad, I had my lunch already, not going to starve waiting for you. Went drinking last night is it? At least inform me then."
"Ha ha you're as adorable as always."
"...."

So after a couple more lopsided exchanges, we agreed to meet at Paradiz because I curtly informed him that I was already leaving and he insisted on going down to meet me ("I can play RA3 too! You can just say we're classmates."). Call me when you reach then, I informed him. He agreed. And you would have thought that would have been the end of the matter.

Apparently not. When I reached Paradiz it was already 4 plus and Alvin, CS and his gf were already busy annihilating virtual enemies to smithereens (or being annihilated..haha). So we gamed and I expected his call any minute. An hour passed, the Omnia remained dark and silent. Around 5.30 I sent W and sms, "Ok, meet at 6.30pm, town. Call me."

Another hour passed and still no call. By then the other three had been gaming for almost 5 hours and I presumed W. was already on his way down or something so I said my goodbyes and we parted ways. I called thrice. The bugger failed to pick up. Thoroughly annoyed, I shot him a quick sms, "Missing in action again? I'm heading to town. Call me."

By the time I reached Orchard, I was pretty famished and choleric. The massive crowd did not help. And the Omnia still remained dark. Downright annoyed, I texted the sod, "Never answer your phone never even bother to reply and we agreed to meet. If you are coming down let me know I'm at Orchard."

Whereupon I was rewarded with a single pathetic "Can't". Which of course made me ballistic. If he was there that very minute I would have socked/slapped him and kicked his balls for good measure. Assuming he has any. That sorry pathetic cunt.

You agree to meet. No, let me correct that. You WANT to meet and therefore we AGREE to meet. You sleep late. Call and expect people to have lunch with you at 3. Agree to meet again. Fail to show up. Fail to reply to SMSes. Fail to answer any phone calls. And then reply with a single pathetic "Can't" without a single apology or explanation and expect any sane reasonable person to accept it?

Good grief. Just the thought of it is sufficient to send me into an apoplectic rage. Obviously basic courtesy and common sense is something he sorely lacks. But why should I be surprised. It's one thing to play other people out (and that of course has to be distinguished from inevitable situations ie: life-threatening wardrobe malfunctions kind of situations), it's another to do so without being in the least apologetic or having the courtesy to come up with a viable excuse.

No wonder I dropped him like a hot potato. Well good riddance.

*Takes a deep breath* On the other hand, I did manage to get a decent gift for Suzie who's turning 40 tomorrow. Happy Birthday girl! I'm terrible with prezzie shopping be it for birthdays or Christmas. I mean god knows what everyone wants. And besides, you know you won't be pleasing everyone.

Oh I know, gays are supposed to be fabulously fashionable, with an eye for good clothes, girl's best confidantes/sisters and perfect shopping kakis. Shopping for presents should by extension be a real breeze. Well yes, that is the general perception. But just like not every heterosexual male loves soccer or oggles at girls all day, not all gay males are your fashionable fag hag friend.
For me, I hate shopping for presents. So when I do find a present I'm satisfied with, it's a personal accomplishment of sorts. haha

I shall be looking forward to tomorrow's birthday celebrations for Suzie, if anything, it'll be the first time I'll be meeting her, WG and SL for the first time after over a year of slinking about on each others' blog posts. :)

I leave you now with the psychedelic and catchy ending song, Hitohira no Hanabira, from Bleach. It's chirpy and almost para para-esque though I'm certain the animation adds to that effect. ^^

Hitohira no Hanabira by Stereopony

A single flower petal brushes against my skin
I don't want to believe
our romance was a mistake

We've got a bad, bad habit of saying "everything's fine" and bottling it up
I always thought about how i wanted to be with you forever
but we don't see eye to eye
I assumed i could always make you smile
in that soft, gentle way of yours
like when we first met
I want to hold you...

A single flower petal brushes against my skin
I don't want to believe
our romance was a mistake
I thought I loved you
I wanted to hear your voice more and more
and while my hand still reaches yours,
I can't see what your future holds.

Absolutely Fabulous- Charismatic Schmaltz.

Absolutely Fabulous. Aptly sums up this satirical comedy series starring Jennifer Saunders as Edina (Eddy) and Joanna Lumley (Patsy) that takes a long hard look at the lives of a couple of brash, alcohol imbibing mismatches and the motley crew of colourful characters in their lives.

Incisive and irreverent, nothing is taboo in this no holds barred comedy. You laugh yet it makes you think and that I always feel is the best form of comedy.

We've all heard about TV evangelists, schmaltzy glitzy preachers who attempt to reach millions through various forms of media, the most common being the one eye monster. They're slick, smooth, exhort the multitudes to turn to God while raking in the cash. They're also almost always from the more charismatic protestant denominations.

You know the kind of service where your horrified, unsuspecting friend whom you invited whispers, "Are these people having seizures??!"

Absolutely Fabulous nails these elements right down to a pat, even to the casting out of demons portion. Sure the portrayal may be slightly over the top, but I assure you the fervour and fanatical conviction is exactly the same. Watch these two clips and you'll see what I mean. Absolutely hilarious. Enjoy.

Evangelical TV - Starring Mo Gaffney as Bo and Jane Horrocks as Lola




Second Clip of Evangelical TV - So how did Jesus come to you, Lola?

Unholy Triumvirate

This is an exposition.. of three guys.

Gay and absolutely fabulous... or so they wished, content instead to howl in laughter at the wickedly satirical television series of the same.

They came from disparate backgrounds.

One precocious and unconventional, that wild streak ever present, subduing parents into resigned acceptance. The other mysterious yet bitchy, eloquent yet dirty, hedonism tempered with pragmatic rationalism. The last inquisitive and wild, luxuriating in quiet defiance at a strait jacketed family, carnal but measured.

Perhaps the fact that they were gay, eschewed the conventional with a propensity to bitch were all they had in common. And all that was needed.

They had their usual share of scandals. One caught naked by his mom in a very inconvenient situation, the other with his infamous lube in the tube incident, the last eloped with the rugby captain for a week before returning to the fold.

Years have passed since. Times have changed. One is now single, getting back to the scene. The other newly attached, settled and 'serene', the last zen about it all. All still fiercely independent.

Relationships are quixotic, resilient yet fragile. Who knows what those fickle winds of change will etch in the shifting sands of time?

Yet for now, the triumvirate still stands. Bitchy, irreverent, diabolical. And for that my friends, partners in crime and fellow sisters, I toast you now.

Viva le sisterhood.

Switzerland, here I cum!

Ah Switzerland, the land of cheese, chocolate and cute guys. Those aren't the main only attractions of course. There's all the glorious scenery, mountains, culture and glorious snow. Those who know me better know I've never been the kind of person who absolutely must travel somewhere every year. I'll be quite happy staying at home too, slacking and chilling out, cognizant of the fact of just how much moola I'm saving by not travelling.

It's not that I dislike travelling mind you, it just never ranked very high up on my list of priorities which often included stuff like get a house, have more sex, get a car, party into the night. Did I mention more sex? Plus the fact that travelling often does involve spending a significant amount of money.

I guess working has changed my perspective somewhat. I'm still equally happy staying at home, luxuriating in the fact that I can wake up at noon and not give a damn about work. But going on a holiday and actually flying somewhere helps one to unwind fully. Even if it is a little pricey.

I'd always wanted to go to Switzerland. The land of the eternally snow-capped Alps, quaint buildings and refreshingly cold weather. Ever since I was a small tyke and the Mother went, "You know you were actually due later but I had them induce an earlier pregnancy so that I could give birth to you and go to Switzerland with your father." Yes and she went ahead for the said trip with my sister in tow while the baby was dumped with granny. So yes, it was what you would also call a childhood goal to 'visit Switzerland one day dammnit'.

But the decision to go to Switzerland was truly a last minute one. Originally Kate and I decided on Tokyo, Japan. Japan is another one of those 'must visit' places. Spend 6 or 7 nights in Tokyo and experience New Year there. However, that soon fell through when I realised just how prohibitively expensive a trip to Tokyo would be with the sky high Yen and the extremely expensive stuff in Tokyo in general.

Plus Kate was dragging her feet on the confirmation of her schedule as to when she could fly there from New York and the thought of spending almost $5,000 on a relatively short trip just to Tokyo wasn't very appealing. After all, cosmopolitan as Tokyo was, I was in the mood for some scenery and life outside the city.

So I figured why not Switzerland. To be honest I knew it wouldn't be cheap, probably another $5,000 but it was the variety, the location and the (slightly) longer duration that clinched it for me. But I knew Kate was dead set against Europe, having to spend a couple of weeks there on a business trip in November, so I would be winging it on my own if I went.

The conclusive 'Ah fuck it I'm going' mentality only set it on Sunday whereupon I decided it's gotta be Switzerland even if it's on my own. What followed was a veritable nightmare of checking and comparing the various airfares, reading the reviews for the various hotels for the least painful (yet acceptable) deals and scouring the numerous websites for best deals on room rates.

In fact, I'd no clear idea of just where I wanted to stay when I started though I promptly settled on Zurich, Interlaken and Bern for the stay. Transportation would be taken care of by the exhaustively comprehensive (and expensive) Swiss Pass which basically allows unlimited rides on all forms of public transport for a certain number of days.

I must say that planning a trip and all the necessary itinerary is damn bloody exhausting. I took an entire day and I only settled the flight package (which incidentally increased by $110 from the time I first checked it out to the time I finally settled on it 8 hours later), deciding on the check in dates and booking the hotels. Nothing planned yet for just what to do on various days, it was exhausting but fun in a way I guess.

I still need to plan just what I intend to do. I kind of have a general idea of what I have in mind, visit the sights and museums at Bern, attempt to ski (and not fail too miserably) at Jungfrau and check out the sights and the famous gay dance/theme/sex? club in Zurich, the gay capital of Switzerland. Especially since the days are short and the weather can be ball-shrinkingly frigid... Zurich is around a freezing -3 c to 5 c end December while Jungfrau is a mind numbing -15 c to -5 c.

Which makes you wonder how they go clubbing or for those themed gay parties where I hear the dress code is rigidly enforced... some of which involving little more than strips of leather and rubber bits with shoes and/or caps. The kind of attire which would probably cause your average parent to hyper-ventilate and suffer a heart attack. I dunno. Come to the club all dressed in their leather bits with only a huge winter coat and risk severe frostbite to their netherbits? Though perhaps with the amount of blood in their netherbits, it's the last body part to suffer from frostbite. It's interesting.

So I'll definitely be checking out Rage though it is not without some trepidation. After all, the well documented wild 'parties' are certainly not something you'll ever see or experience in the local gay clubs. And it's not even a sex club... but apparently it's accepted and almost expected for club goers to shed pieces of their clothing if not all when clubbing. And no, I will be giving Sector C (the themed gay dance floor) within Rage a miss. Not at the expense of my netherbits.

While I was telling a friend it would be nice to have someone come along for the trip even if only to help alleviate the substantial accommodation charges and to help you take photos (of yourself damnit). But you make do with what you have I guess. And this is one trip I am looking forward to, even though I'm going to be positively broke after this.

Now will anyone be in Switzerland from 26 December to 3 January 2009? Drop me a line if you are! Of course it'd help if you're cute, gay and can speak english. Though the last is optional I guess, love (or lust rather) transcends all languages. ^^ And if you're swiss and all of the above, you can even have half of my tiny cozy single bed for free. Hur hur.



N/B: I just checked. The flight package I booked at Zuji.com is no longer available. That so justifies my paying $2139 for a return ticket to Zurich on 17 hours flights! Wooohoo Jet lag here I come.

Hello, 26

Another year, another occasion for reflection. To reflect on things past, and muse about the future. Of things lost and things to be gained. I guess solitude does cause one to be more contemplative.

I've waited long enough, paid this silent penance for months on end without knowing why or what I'm paying it for. Am I waiting or is it just inertia? Whatever it is, it's time to rouse from this numbing stupor and move on. Especially when the source of it all had no problems doing so in the first place. As they say, why bother.

So yes I know I've said this, it's time to move on. I believe I have in some ways, ask me to describe exactly how and I falter. Perhaps the transition from blinding rage to a bitter aftertaste to an old wound, nearly forgotten save for the occasional throb of pain best describes it.

Moving on. It's always easier said than done. Two simple words. A constant, continuous effort of considerable difficulty. But it's time to move on... for good.

Closer by Inoue Joe



You've got to be extra careful
with the things nearest to you
You know the closer you get to something
the tougher it is to see it

Explain to me this happiness
that you just got to experience.
Or maybe you're so blessed
that you can't even remember?
That you stand here now
That you live and breathe
They're all little miracles
just by themselves

You've got to be extra careful
with the things nearest to you
You know the closer you get to something
the tougher it is to see it

You know the closer you get to something
the tougher it is to see it
And I'll never take it for granted

It's fine to say "Never give up."
and "Keep chasing your dreams."
But the more time you spend talking big
the less you get done.
I'll press that handful of courage against my heart
and with its help, survive another day
And I'll never take it for granted
Let's go

I don't know why but I find this song appealing and meaningful. Perhaps it's just me.

Quiet Time

Have you ever had one of those moments where you become uncommonly contemplative and you just wonder what is it you really want and what you want to do with the rest of your life or what life in general holds for you?

It's one of those moments for me. a rather long moment and the slew of wedding dinners and receptions haven't helped. I've never Liked wedding dinners or receptions.

That sense of inevitable finality one which will remain forever out of reach if not in substance Then in form.

And i marvel at how the blissfully deluded few feel otherwise .

Curry & Chocolate

Not exactly a very good combination I know but when the craving hits and good company beckons, all sensible culinary caution is thrown to the wind. The weekend has been an expensive yet enjoyable whirlwind flurry of activity. I haven't had such a whale of a time or let my hair down (figuratively speaking) for such a long time now.

Yes I haven't been blogging for a long while due to something called work and Warhammer which between the two of them basically consume 95% of my waking hours. But of course work and gaming isn't very healthy or fulfilling for that matter. Hanging out and some decent heartfelt interaction with real friends helps to put things into perspective and add that zest back into life. The regular lunch outings with the ex-PM and fellow colleagues helped in the sense that it alleviated the otherwise stifling monotony of work life but being able to go on a rampage and not having to talk about boobs and desirable, hot females in general was a very welcome change.

So it was a real blast to hang out with kate and friends, bitching , raving and laughing at stupid things in general, ranting without the need to be 'politically correct', ribbing without the need for recourse. Picture this, a motley crew of four, an experienced, worldly, aunt-aggy kind of diva, one, a jaded yet chatty 'ah-lian' unhappy with her retarded ah beng husband, a solemn but laid back ang-moh just out of a tumultuous relationship with a veritable dominatrix and yours truly, a bitchy, couldn't care less lawyer.

Now consider the various settingsm, moving from one watering hole to the next on a noisy Halloween night before settling for a relatively quiet turkish cafe at arab street puffing on two consecutive sheeshas (turkish water pipes), imbibing two bottles of glorious red wine and puffing away on the 'second' cigarette after deciding the bubble gummy sheeshas were a push over. I haven't laughed or bitched so hard for ages.

We ranted, drank, smoked and laughed till the relatively unearthly hour of three, though anna (the ah lian) and Thomas (the angmoh) felt that the sheeshas were way too mild, preferring instead to puff on their cigarettes while Kate ribbed, sniped and held court as the resident queen. Overall everything was a blast, though I must add that the combined whammy of rich food, two sheeshas, wine and a menthol ciggy was sufficient to induce an interesting semi-high that left me semi drugged the morning after.

A 'happy juice' infused Anna and a headless Kate. 'Grape' Sheesha in the foreground. Cherry was the other one i ordered. But seriously they both tasted exactly the same. Sweet and bubble gummy. Which was where the menthol ciggy came in- cool, pungent and smooth.

A very bad picture of the shy angmoh, intent on his doner kebab. Notice the alcohol glazed gaze of dear old Anna as she smiles at no one in particular.

Then it was wonderful mutton curry cooked by Kate's mother's indian friend at her place today, followed by a sudden, impromptu trip downtown for the Chocolate and Cheese buffet at Marriott with the same gang. Which naturally entailed a lot more spirited conversation and 2 bottles of happy juice.

Booze, great food and excellent company. What more can one ask for? Except maybe for sex. Well all in good time. ^^