The Week in Numbers

10 Mojitos- downed at Cuba Libre after an impromptu mid-week dinner & drinks with the Gang at work. M. had 2, turned a bright beet red and proceeded to pat CP A. fondly while resting his head on his palm and giving her bambi eyes. CP. A to her credit, was blissfully oblivious, as usual. The rest of us were trying very hard to stop laughing into our Mojitos.

9 old/new files - that exploded and promise to make life very busy for the next two months or so.

8 coffee breaks - caffeine is getting quite as enjoyable as chocolate. I say quite, because it hasn't yet. But that's the thing about vices isn't it? Starts out slow then you can't stop. Not quite looking forward to be a CCC (Chain Coffee Consumer) if not least for the sizeable amount of moola that needs to be expanded to fuel the habit. Though if the resident office caffeine junkies are to be believed, coffee has a slimming effect (amongst other things - like that incessant need to pee). So we'll see how that one goes.

7 mins - From the time I set up (after years of inertia) a personal profile replete with a semi nude pic on a popular gay personals portal to the first message I received. "Hey you look hot. Wanna fuck?" But it came from a bear so no thank you. Thankfully, the other pickings from the subsequent influx of messages were better.

6 consecutive days - Of gyming and attending the various classes with fancy names like body pump, body jam, RPM and cardiac arrest inducing routines. Pumping irons vigorously while performing squats is about as enjoyable as, what was that phrase? 'having a straw stuffed up your nostril' I believe, while working out but you feel damn good after that. Sore but satisfied. Not a gym bunny yet. But we'll see how it goes.

5 times - I had to download Rihanna's Disturbia from various sources just to get the complete version. But it was so fucking worth it. This woman's music so consistently hot and she oozes so much attitude and sex appeal. If I were straight, she'd probably be the focal point of a number of masturbatory fantasies. Right now, I just have to settle for hotties like Takeshi Kaneshiro or that nicely buffed lifeguard in Japan Pictures: Ra Kai Shin Bi Dan who moans like there's no tomorrow.

4 guys - on the potentially fuckable/ let's fuck list out of the Let's meet to fuck list. Finally deciding to make a profile must be the second best New Year Resolution this year, after the gonna gym cuz till I'm fat fit and flab fab resolution.

3 sets - of Basketball games the Gang at work and I played till M. suddenly groaned out loud, clutched his side and collapsed on the court wheezing and gasping like a struck pig before clawing his way to the side of the basketball court. I laughed till my stomach ached. That was handsdown the most hilarious moment of the week, well worth the pain of having to drag myself from bed at the unearthly hour of 6.45am on a Saturday morning.

2 hours - spent agonising over my stupidity not to strike up a conversation with the cute guy in red who attended the same Body attack class at Planet Fitness One Raffles Quay on friday evening. We both kept glancing at each other, which lasted well into the changing room before a final electrifying stare as I got into the lift first. Was tempted to stop the lift but there were already a couple of girls in the lift. Well, there's always next Friday. grins.

1 hour - left to Reunion dinner and the annual pig out session (perhaps less so this time round... for the sake of looking flab fab. But then again just slightly less so. haha.)

Happy Chinese New Year to those who still celebrate it. I leave you with Rihanna's bad ass and absolutely hot Disturbia. Shake that body baby.

Disturbia by Rihanna




What's wrong with me?
Why do I feel like this?
I'm going crazy now

No more gas, in the rig, can't even get it started
Nothing heard, nothing said, can't even speak about it
On my life, on my head, don't wanna think about it
Feels like I'm going insane, yeah

It's a thief in the night to come and grab you
It can creep up inside you and consume you
A disease of the mind, it can control you
It's too close for comfort

Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder
Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under
Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter, be wise

Your mind's in disturbia, it's like the darkness is light
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like
Disturbia, disturbia

Faded pictures on the wall, it's like they talking to me
Disconnecting on calls, the phone don't even ring
I gotta get out or figure this shit out
It's too close for comfort, oh

It's a thief in the night to come and grab you
It can creep up inside you and consume you
A disease of the mind it can control you
I feel like a monster, oh

Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder
Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under
Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise

Your mind's in disturbia, it's like the darkness is light
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like
Disturbia, disturbia, disturbia

Release me from this curse I'm in
Trying to maintain but I'm struggling
If you can't go-o-o
I think I'm gonna ah, ah, ah, ah

Put on your pretty lies, you're in the city of wonder
Ain't gon' play nice, watch out you might just go under
Better think twice, your train of thought will be altered
So if you must falter be wise

Disturbia, it's like the darkness is light
Disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia, ain't used to what you like
Disturbia, disturbia

Fucking friends and Fighting flab.

There are friends and there are Friends. The latter being a small select group of friends you fuck with. And when I say fuck, I mean literally fuck, not 'friends' who engage in mind games and delight in fucking with your mind. Such 'friends' are better termed as Fuck Off Friends as in the who-needs-enemies-when-you-have-friends-like-these kind of 'friends'. Mind games and guilt trips are simply not my cup of tea.

Friends that you (or I rather) fuck with are the kind that you can have known for a long time, keep in contact with occasionally and meet up as and when either party likes, the need arises or feels the need to scratch the proverbial itch. The itch usually more akin to that primal desire for sex, a raging hardon and an orgasmic climatic release, not necessarily in that order.

Some say friends should simply remain friends, no sex on the side, no chance of misunderstandings (unless both parties happen to fall in love), plain, vanilla. Such people are either lying or genuinely don't know what they're missing. Either way, it sucks though the liars are better off in that they get off screwing some friends but get to claim the purported moral high ground by professing not to do so.

Naturally, I'm not saying or advocating that one should go around screwing all your friends or at least friends of the sex that you're attracted to (assuming you're not bi). What I am saying is that if neither of you are attached, know what you're getting yourself into - especially the no strings attached part and have chemistry (in bed at least), there is no reason why 2 consenting adults with a common understanding (no strings attached) and a common need (sex) should not fuck simply because they happen to be friends and not relatively faceless strangers.

J. is a Friend, a friend I fuck with, I'd first met him around 2003 during one of the cool off periods with the Ex. Fun and affable, we hit it off to a good start but rapidly discovered that we were totally incompatible, relationship-wise that is. For one he liked to share his love and his idea of a relationship was an open one, like your average buffet with the option for more. Which for the You-better-not-roam-when you're-attached-to-me-or-I'll-castrate-you me was anathema.

Our chemistry in bed though was another story. Like the generous lover that he was, sex with J was always wild like a roller coaster ride of sensations that left both of us spent but gratified. Which was why we reached that all important mutual understanding that we could be friends who fuck: no strings attached and not when I was attached. As a rule, I usually abstained when he was in one of his 'open' relationships too.

If you're thinking we fuck like bunnies every week, you're wrong. There was a period of time we didn't even fuck for 2 whole years. Which in the world of raging testosterone and horny homos is an eternity. We'd keep in touch occasionally, meet up on the odd occasion (without sex) and fuck once in a while (blue moon). But when we fuck we really fuck.

So it was that I met up with J over the weekend and we fucked. Though it'd been almost 3 years since our last fucking session, things barely changed, the sex was just as adventurous and wild, an exhausting workout that was gratifying as it was tiring. As a Versatile Top, which in gay lingo means the guy who likes to stuff it in or be stuffed but usually prefers to stuff it in, J was always more adventurous and ahem ... acrobatic in bed. Which suited yours truly, a Versatile Bottom, perfectly since I hate vanilla and appreciate partners who think sex constitutes of more than a quick blowjob, a few tired shakes, a few frenzied thrusts and they hit the jackpot. Sex with J. is always a refreshing, take-it-as-it-comes-along affair, moving as the situation calls for, unfettered by expectations or inhibitions.

After an intense, acrobatic session that reminded me of his impressive repertoire of moves before ending in the usual orgasmic climatic release, we collapsed on the bed, spent and sweaty. 'That was good' I gasped. 'As always' came the tired reply. Then with my back facing him, J put his arm around me and drew me close. And patted my tummy. "Mmm, you've certainly grown fatter here." And he pat the offending part again.

Which was absolutely mortifying. And hardly conducive to the post-coital bliss. Pulling his hand away, I said brusquely, "Yes yes I'm fat now, with a solid 'pec' replacing the army era six pecs. Happy?" All the while mentally screaming, 'Fat fat fat! Fuck that's the third person to say I'm fat/put on weight!!! Argggh!' (The other two being my affable seccie and an equally affable colleague). " Nah, it's fine, I like it." J mumbled. And gave that offending one pec another pat.

Then he was sound asleep, his breathing and the hum of the air conditioner the only sounds in the room. I lay awake, spent but still unable to sleep. Gripped by that endless thought of 'Fuck I'm Fat' and the growing and unshakable determination to reclaim the promised land of the long lost six pec abs. So I decided, Monday (ie today), I'm signing up for Fitness First, since it's the closest to the office. And with that I fell fast asleep.

Yesterday's utter defeat at the hands of the Sister after a bout of wii boxing despite my frenzied boxing and almost suffering cardiac arrest, only serves to confirm that a gym membership (and active use thereof) is necessary. Is this the start of a new gym freak aelgtoer? Only time will tell but it's time to reclaim the elusive holy grail of the six pec abs and a leaner meaner body.

Epilogue- The Swiss Trip.

Chinese New Year's around the corner, getting back into the hang of things which usually means long lunches, irate clients and massive paperwork. I did say I'd talk about the swiss trip but facebook and the ease with which photos can be uploaded does greatly reduce the impetus to blog about it. Or I could just be lazy. But I will do so briefly.

They always say first impressions last and my first impression of Switzerland when I landed in Zurich was that of efficiency. The most obvious example being their excellent rail and transport system which runs like clockwork, is highly interconnected and travelling to any part of the country is painless.

Trains and trams alike depart exactly when scheduled and punctuality is not a word just given lip service or expressed in % of trains that leave on time (sounds familiar eh.) In fact the only time when a train was delayed during my entire trip was once at interlaken where the train to Bern was delayed by 10 mins.

They made an announcement over the PA, apologised for the delay and asked passengers to head over to the next platform to take another train also headed to Bern which would be arriving 4 mins earlier than the delayed train. Just 4 mins and they have another train. Now friends, that is what I call efficiency, not some sorry ad proclaiming the % of trains that successfully arrive on time and have a few major breakdowns which leave passengers stranded for over an hour. Walk the talk.

The scenery and environment was great, certainly a very refreshing change from our cityscape. While Zurich was large, cosmopolitan yet still possessing that old world charm with the numerous cathedrals and stately architecture, it was quaint Bern with its spacious streets and medieval buildings in the Altstadt which I preferred. In many ways, it was indeed a medieval capital and the large swathes of open space coupled with the numerous cafes and cobbled streets made walking for hours on end an enjoyable activity.



Interlaken and the Jungfrau region in particular were scenic and smothered in snow. My greatest regret perhaps was not being able to ski due to the relatively short duration there. Besides I figured it'd be a waste of moola to rent the equipment just to spend most of my time on my bum in the snow. Sledding was the other alternative and proved to be a blast if not a rather accident prone one.



For one, the signs are ..ahem.. hard to read. I mean I know they have different slopes for skiing and sledding though on some slopes, both skiing and sledding is allowed. But having 2 slopes side by side with a pole and a sledding sign in the middle doesn't really help. You can guess what happened next. I went down the ski slope with the rented rickety sled.

I realised something was wrong when I pushed off, for one the slope seemed incredibly steep and more importantly only the skiers were whizzing past. But I was off and it was too late to stop. What followed was a hair raising eternity as the sled rocketed down the slope and a frantic attempt to brake only hastened a spectacular crash into a snow bank below that left me briefly winded. The sled spun a few frenzied circles before coming to rest beside the nearby thicket of trees.

So thankfully it was soft snow and not trees I crashed into, I doubt I'd still be in one piece otherwise. Other than that and another crash which involved having to brake violently to avoid a screaming korean woman on a runaway sled, sledding down the mountain was highly enjoyable and provided a decent workout. That's one winter activity I'll do again in a jiffy the next opportunity I get.

The food was great. Even though it consisted mainly of a lot of meat, cheese, cream and potatoes and in very sizeable portions. It's the kind of cuisine and serving size with which you can go in positively famished and leave positively stuffed. With just a single main course and beer and coffee to boot. So much so that I was amazed to an extent how they wolf down such stuff on a regular basis. It's fine in winter when you're almost perpetually hungry due to the cold but summer?



I guess it's an acquired taste/habit, by the end of the trip I was so used to the serving sizes, I was having a little difficulty adjusting to the local, asian sized portions when I returned. Coffee and Cigarettes were the other vice. I consumed copious amounts of both. Practically every meal ended with the de rigeur Latte Machiatto. I never liked smoking, still don't in fact, but it keeps you warm even if briefly which is excellent for long strolls in the frigid weather when your fingers get numb with cold. People smoke like chimneys there, with good reason I guess. I consumed like 3.5 packs, still have half a pack of Kent menthol lights lying somewhere in the knapsack. All that indulgence and toxification probably explains the extra 2 kg, grumbles, of which I've only managed to shed 1 thus far. Grumbles more.



The Swiss guys did not disappoint. As forewarned, the Swiss are incredibly reserved and while efficient, would usually not make the first move., preferring instead to respect your personal space until you show some interest. But once you get to know them better, you'll find them warm, affable and almost intensely passionate.

J. surprisingly chatted me up at the Samurai gay 'club/bar' at Bern (which is really more like a pub in size) while I was exchanging looks with another hottie across the bar and considering whether to make a move. He spoke in german first and after I indicated that I could only speak english, promptly launched into fluent english.

An apprentice banker, 23, and a french swiss, he proudly informed me that he was a lot more 'open-minded' having studied briefly in the USA where he found the people's friendliness a refreshing change. We talked for a bit, I finally found out the title of that song which had stuck in my head since the last jive at Play, dirty danced a lot and snogged like there was no tomorrow. I probably would have gotten into his pants if not for the fact that 1. he came with friends and 2. he was from out of town, a neighbouring city to be exact.

The other two, A. and H. I met in Zurich on New Year's Eve. H. was the hot, cute bartender at Cranberry's with the thickly accented english and A., suave and established in his mid 30s, I bumped into at T&M. H. was on shift for New Year's Eve so after getting his contact number and arranging to meet him the following day, I spent the rest of New Year's Eve with A.

Swiss men are reserved till their clothes are off then all inhibitions go out of the window and the seat of reason transposes to that glorious turgid organ which overrides all thought processes more complicated than SeX+Safe = Good.

A. was wildly passionate and highly attentive, almost painfully so but I must admit the acrobatic work out which included a voyeuristic new year fuck against the windows was highly enjoyable. By the time, we collapsed into bed, spent and sweaty, the first rays of a sleepy New Year's day wintry morning were peeping through the partially drawn shades. Good morniiing, A drawled, drawing me close. Good night I replied and we fell asleep, snuggled under the sheets till 2 in the afternoon.

H. was cute and had a lean yet lightly muscled toned body, the kind that really turns me on. While his command of english wasn't as good as A.'s, we all know the language of love (or lust rather) transcends all linguistic barriers. I know I've said this before but guys are highly visual creatures I'm no different and the sight and touch of a hot, hard body like the aforesaid coupled with a cute face is a potent aphrodisiac. Sex was a lot more boring than the one with A. He liked too much full body contact (think skin on skin massage) till I actually had to pop the alright let's fuck now shall we cowboy? question. Conventional but hot bod and a cute face so who am I to complain?

All in all a highly enjoyable trip... now to plan for my next one and to get started on the 3 year old New Year's resolution of picking up German...finally..damnit.

I leave you with that jazzy gotta-move-your-hips hit, Mercy by Duffy.

Mercy by Duffy




Yeah Yeah Yeah x4

I love you
but i gotta stay true
my morals got me on my knees
I'm begging please stop playing games

I don't know what this is
cos you got me good
just like you knew you would

I don't know what you do
but you do it well
I'm under your spell

Chorus
You got me begging you for mercy
why won't you release me
you got me begging you for mercy
why won't you release me
I said release me

Now you think that I
will be something on the side
but you got to understand
that i need a man
who can take my hand yes i do

I don't know what this is
but you got me good
just like you knew you would

I don't know what you do
but you do it well
I'm under your spell

You got me begging you for mercy
why wont you release me
you got me begging you for mercy
why wont you release me
I said you'd better release yeah yeah yeah

I'm begging you for mercy
yes why wont you release me
I'm begging you for mercy

you got me begging
you got me begging
you got me begging

Mercy, why wont you release me
I'm begging you for mercy
why wont you release me

you got me begging you for mercy
I'm begging you for mercy
I'm begging you for mercy
I'm begging you for mercy
I'm begging you for mercy

Why wont you release me yeah yeah
break it down

Back to the Grind

The first day back at work after the Swiss Trip and I'm dead beat. As expected, the desk was piled high with files to be attended to, letters to be drafted, bills to sign and horror of horrors affidavits to prepare. Barf.

Oh I know they always say all good things come to an end and everyone has to return to reality. It's just that returning to reality is usually as pleasant as running headlong into a sackful of wet cement. But you know there's always bitching and friends. not always a good combo but it helps.

The trip was good, so good I still dream I'm walking the streets in Berne, the chilly wind fresh yet biting, snow falling lightly and... wake up to Gold 90 FM blasting in my ears. More on the trip and pics when I finally get round to doing it which should be anytime soon after I've cleared the mountains of files on my desk. Bah.

The famed glacial Swiss reserve is indeed true. Though when it melts.... Suffice to say the Swiss boys didn't disappoint at all.