Random Risque Friend : " Eh, why so serious?"
me: "Am I? I can't always be talking about sex can I?"
Friend: "Why not? You love it, what's not to like talking about it?"
me: "Perhaps because I haven't been getting any lately?"
Friend: "Get moving la. Waiting for prince charming is it?"
So yes, though it may be hard for some to believe, I am tame in comparison to some of my other friends. But I digress. An outing with the risque duo is always noisy, raunchy and never dull. We'd gotten acquainted (at different times) through the usual smorgasbord of internet chat rooms and gay forums back in the hedonistic days of our youth. Though they might dispute the latter, if only because they're just as hedonistic now as they were then. Lol.
As the years went by (god sounding like an old foggy now), we met up a lot less, each leading our separate lives with T. being based in HK these days and S. always flitting across the globe on one of his numerous assignments. We still take the time to arrange meet ups when everyone is in town and available, few and far between though those occasions may be. For you know what they say, boyfriends change like the season but good friends are forever. Though I suspect that's only because apart from the fact that one would be more inclined to overlook certain characteristics in a friend that may be unacceptable in a partner, you're nearly never around good friends enough to get sick of them or otherwise haha.
So it was when we finally arranged to meet on Saturday at Olio Dome, the 'warm' welcome was an indicator of the sort of heart-warming rubbish I've always associated and come to expect from the risque duo.
T: " My goodness, so thin now! Starving yourself to feed the hungry in Africa is it?"
me: "Just because you're fat doesn't mean I'm thin eh. haha."
T: "Wah still as bitchy as ever"
S: "Ya how can anyhow say people starve? Probably too much sex la, he looks positively radiant."
me: " Sex your head la, just came from facial."
T: " Why everytime just facial only? Do the whole works man."
You get the idea. Dinner at Olio Dome was an animated affair with the usual banter and loud expostulations that probably traumatised the family at the table behind us. We even got a lesson on auto-ejaculation (and mild indigestion from choking on my lamb shank) when T whipped out his Iphone and proceeded to show us a bizarre Xtube video of some buff hairless (read - boyzilian) gym ape spasming violently while grunting away before cumming without any stimulation whatsoever to his dick.
I've heard of auto-erotic asphyxiation and bottoms ejaculating while being screwed by particularly skilled tops but auto ejaculation through no stimulation other than vibrating like a human dildo to the beat of your grunts was something entirely new and bizarre. "Perhaps he has a dildo stuck right up his ass," S mused. "Must be a bloody monster of a dildo to make him vibrate like that." I replied. "See that's why I tell you it's always better to be a top. At least you always get off in them." T interjected. "Ya and I pity your bottoms, they wouldn't even know you're in them" came S's rejoinder. Which predictably evicted a spirited tirade from T before it was cut short by a rather disturbed looking waitress who came to clear our plates.
Life would be so dull without friends with whom one can interact freely and unabashedly. Which is why I always take a dim view of uptight peeps who can't laugh at themselves but have no qualms laughing at others. Worse still are those who revel in perpetual negativity or self pity and rely on that very warped outlook to justify their shortcomings. But with friends of the former (positive) variety, one never tires being with them. And despite the frequency (or lack thereof) of meet ups, the camaraderie remains. I'll look forward to the next time we meet, whenever that may be.