Salut

Looking back on the previous posts, an inexorable truth comes to mind. As the years pass, I post less.

Not out of any conscious effort to abstain from doing so. In fact, the opposite may probably be so. A general sense of lethargy, the mind numbing impact of work and the simple dearth of desire would probably explain the silence.

I've always believed blogging should be cathartic. The freedom to say what you want, when you want within the usual confines of the law etc etc. Which we all know as far as our little red dot is concerned covers the usual taboo areas of politics, race and to a smaller extent religion. None of which interest me much.

Life's too serious and tedious with work and mundane, nagging problems like what to have for lunch or when your stupid ass bills are due to be concerned/ want to be concerned about the above. But the general lack of impetus to blog or the need to discuss, rant or muse has played a part. Not to mention the instant gratification of other social media platforms like FaceBook or Path for a quick, dumbed down version of a rant or muse. Not quite as substantive and cathartic as a leisurely, measured blog post but instant. Much like a quickie, instant release then swiftly forgotten.

Which in some ways mirrors the current state of affairs in my personal life. We all want to settle down, to find that special someone to share your life with. But things can never be rushed and if you know that guy you're seeing now or you previously had the hots for is uncommitted or simply incompatible, be merciful. Remove that tumor of doubt, he's never going to commit. You'll never be compatible. Save yourself and him the time and trouble of a failed courtship or the inevitable emotional roller coaster ride that accompanies such courtships.

Carnal creatures as we are, our gut instincts honed over milennia of assessing suitable mates (be it purely for physical release or something more substantial) are often perversely right on the basest most primal levels of attraction.

I've been partying hard. More so than I have for quite while. Done a few bat shit crazy ass stuff. Made quite a few new yet steadfast friends. Kindred souls with a knack for fun in the company of like minded individuals without the inclination or need to judge. Sometimes, I'm tired of engaging intellectual conversations or clever ripostes. Sometimes, I just want to be a dumb bitch, laugh at stupid things and have a good time. At the end of the day, it's the company and the friends and principles you stand by that count.

Settling down is still the goal but like all good things it can't be forced or rushed. I'm tired of guys who can't commit, give excuses for their failings. Whackos who chase with a single minded vengeance then go berserk when you tell them that getting to know each other better may be a better idea than attempting to get into your pants (which to be fair is still an enjoyable idea sometimes). Exes who message that they miss you and have as much EQ and empathy as a sociopath.

Is it that hard to find a decent guy? For now, I'm happy with friends and stuff I enjoy. Won't say no to the occasional hot fuck though ;)

Leave ya with Lights by Ellie Goulding. 33 weeks and still No. 2 on the charts. Don't forget to turn the lights off when you're done. ;)

"Lights"

I had a way then losing it all on my own
I had a heart then but the queen has been overthrown
And I'm not sleeping now the dark is too hard to beat
And I'm not keeping now the strength I need to push me

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine It when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine It when I'm alone

Home

Noises, I play within my head
Touch my own skin and hope that I'm still breathing
And I think back to when my brother and my sister slept
In an unlocked place the only time I feel safe

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone

Home

Yeah, hee

Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone

'Cause they're calling, calling, calling me home
Calling, calling, calling home
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone

Home, home
Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights, lights, lights

Home, home
Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights, lights, lights

Home, home
Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights, lights, lights

Home, home
Light, lights, lights, lights
Light, lights, lights, lights