Absolutely Fabulous- Charismatic Schmaltz.

Absolutely Fabulous. Aptly sums up this satirical comedy series starring Jennifer Saunders as Edina (Eddy) and Joanna Lumley (Patsy) that takes a long hard look at the lives of a couple of brash, alcohol imbibing mismatches and the motley crew of colourful characters in their lives.

Incisive and irreverent, nothing is taboo in this no holds barred comedy. You laugh yet it makes you think and that I always feel is the best form of comedy.

We've all heard about TV evangelists, schmaltzy glitzy preachers who attempt to reach millions through various forms of media, the most common being the one eye monster. They're slick, smooth, exhort the multitudes to turn to God while raking in the cash. They're also almost always from the more charismatic protestant denominations.

You know the kind of service where your horrified, unsuspecting friend whom you invited whispers, "Are these people having seizures??!"

Absolutely Fabulous nails these elements right down to a pat, even to the casting out of demons portion. Sure the portrayal may be slightly over the top, but I assure you the fervour and fanatical conviction is exactly the same. Watch these two clips and you'll see what I mean. Absolutely hilarious. Enjoy.

Evangelical TV - Starring Mo Gaffney as Bo and Jane Horrocks as Lola




Second Clip of Evangelical TV - So how did Jesus come to you, Lola?

The Cell

After a frenzied marathon of 136 + episodes, I'm finally out of Naruto. *Sob* So I rummaged through my old collection of DVDs and settled upon The Cell. It still possesses the same enigmatic quality and remains as gripping as it first was when I sneaked in at GV Balestiar to catch it back in 2000 (since it was still R(A) back then). The strength of the show lies not in its characters nor even in the plot which is really quite simple, it is the imagery and the concepts which are entailed therein that makes one sit up and for the most part either love or hate the movie. But one can't help but be disturbed (in varying degrees) by what one sees, certainly by the scene where Vincent D'Onofrio (the killer) pokes a hole in Vince Vaughn's (FBI agent) stomach and fishes out some intestine which he proceeds to spiral around a rotisserie. Really.

**SPOILER**

The story starts with a sadistic mentally disturbed killer who goes round drowning helpless nymphs in airtight glass tanks. After one of his S&M sessions (stringing himself up on meat hooks attached to the ceiling), he has a seizure and falls into a coma just as the FBI finally bust his ass. Problem is, one victim remains alive, her whereabouts unknown and they have to find her within 48 hours.

Enter J.Lo as a child therapist who agrees to use a new treatment to enter the killer's mind and uncover the secrets. This is where the movie becomes gruesomely riveting. The extensive and elaborate visual imagery and costumes present a disturbing preview into the mind of a mentally deranged person. With scenes ranging from broken life-size dolls spinning eerily behind glass windows, to bathtubs of blood, to lifeless females sitting in perfect angles across desert dunes, their mouths gaping at the setting sun, to a boy being physically abused by his dad for breaking the dishes, one experiences a gamut of emotions from revulsion, sadness, mild unease, pity, wonder to amazement.

The often frequent and abrupt changes of scenes that remain slightly disturbing while being weirdly beautiful at times and the riot of images,colour and sounds, an assault on the senses; only serve to reinforce the surreality and warped nature of the mind- a place where anything goes and the potential to imprison lies in its ability to construct illusions.

One of the most goose-bump inducing scenes (not freaky shit ones--that probably has to go to the intestine curling part) is the one where J Lo suddenly awakes (still in his mind) drenched and exhausted. And she notices that she is in some brightly lit great hall, then suddenly there is a great rustling sound as the lilac velvet which covers the sides of the hall are pulled back at great speed, rushing through the bronze hoops affixed to the walls. And she rises, turning slowly, wearily and with great dread. To see the killer striding grimly down the steps from his throne towards her, the reams of lilac velvet attached to great rings pierced through his back. Then she screams in mortal terror, pressing the flesh between her forefinger and thumb desperately as she does so (to activate the termination mechanism). Words do the scene little justice.

So anyway silly woman that she is, she goes in another time and this time she gets trapped. Literally collared. And it's up to Vince Vaughan (Dodgeball) as potential love interest to rescue her before it's too late. Be prepared for more mind-numbing scenes, especially the part where he approaches a collared J Lo who sits poised like a cat ready to strike, except that she seems absolutely lifeless, her eyes betraying no hint of emotion. Or the infamous intestine curling part, the scream, blood curdling. Shudders.

The conclusion however possesses an element of redemption as J Lo moved by the small boy, the last shred of innocence left in the comatose killer attempts to redeem him by reversing the feed and bringing him into her mind. Approaching the boy in the likeness of the Madonna (the virgin one), she tries to coax him to follow her, to let her reach out to him. Only to be thwarted by the masochistic killer who metamorphoses from a swan in one of the lily ponds, darkness descending as he does so. J Lo's startling transformation from the Virgin Mary into a vengeful gothic Xena, complete with midnight black lipstick, crazed witch hairdo and a gleaming golden crossbow is priceless.

Much as I've spoiled the rest of the movie, I'll leave the end intact. Suffice it to say, that it was bitter-sweet, with redemption, however incomplete.

Hairspray - What a Blast!

Hairspray unlike the namesake product that's responsible for all the gravity-defying hairdos in the movie, is not a whole load of gas. Based on John Walter's 1988 classic cult release, Hairspray, the new Hairspray is one addictive, feet tapping musical extravaganza where 98% of the movie is spent on song and dance and the remaining 2% on direct conversation. Set in the 1960s in Baltimore, USA, Hairspray recreates the Swinging Sixties with flair and gusto right down to the stiff, bouffant hairdos and the pre-retro clothes.



And for a movie that's almost an entire musical, Hairspray really carries the plot and develops the characters in a way that is both catchy and humorous. One would be under the impression that a movie that's entirely filled with song and dance would be rather boring after all and you couldn't be further from the truth. The songs are explicit and catchy, like Royston Tan's 881, the songs tell a story and convincingly convey the emotions of the various characters. But what's even better is that the songs here last longer than the average getai song and the transition from one song to the next is really fluid, it doesn't come as a rude shock. And what's more, all the cast members actually do their own singing, right down to John Travolta in his voluptuous role as Tracy's mom.

The dancing and slick slick moves though simply add to the feet-tapping factor. Well choreographed, the moves flow with the songs as the actors and actresses boogie and groove across the screen in a psychedelic display of colours, gaudy outfits and immaculately held hairdos. The result, a riotous feast of sights and sounds that leave one bopping about and craving for more by the time the show ends a happy 117 minutes later.

Hairspray isn't all just cotton candy fluff, it addresses the issue of discrimination and racial segregation which was alive in the 60s in a serious yet light-hearted manner without subtracting from the fun. I've never really liked musicals or rather musical movies but with the earlier local 881 and now the fantastic Hairspray, I've come to the conclusion that well wrought and catchy songs replete with either outrageous costumes and/or slick dancing can make or break a movie.

Hairspray may be regarded as the American version of 881, even better in terms of overall plot wise if you ask me, I wouldn't mind watching it again. In short, Hairspray was a real blast. I rushed down to Sembawang Music Center to grab the soundtrack which is as good as grabbing the movie sans the visual treat since almost the entire film consists of the songs anyway. Still I'd definitely recommend you catch the movie first. And at $19.90, it's more than double the length of the 881 soundtrack which is similarly priced, double the fun for the same price.

I'll leave you with the talented and chirpy Nikki Blonsky's powerful rendition of Good Morning, Baltimore, the opening song that sets the pace for the rest of the show. Now, who ever said big girls never get any fun?

Pa Pa Yeoh (881): Awakening the Inner Beng.

In case you haven't already guessed, this is what has reawakened the inner Beng even if only slightly.



I certainly don't have the credentials to be one. In JC, I was categorised as part of the 'Ang Moh Pai' group (used to refer to the English speaking Chinese). My spoken Mandrian leaves much to be desired, I can barely hold a decent conversation in Chinese. My Hokkien is even worse, I can catch the gist of what people are saying; try to get me to respond in Hokkien however and I falter miserably, my entire vocabulary consisting mainly of creative vulgarities picked up in Army from the true blue Beng camp mates. The closest I ever came to looking like one was during the post JC days when I sported striped highlighted hair bleached golden blond and the brick red cargo pants I bought from TopShop then.

So it was a rather strange turn of events that made me want to catch this locally produced movie when it came out on the 9th of August. After all I almost never watch locally produced movies, the last one being Liang Po Po which was a loooong time ago, because I figure that it'll inevitably turn up on TV within a year or so and paying eight bucks and more for a local movie wasn't appealing.

I guess my curiousity about 881 was piqued because it was about getai (stage performances given nationwide during the Hungry Ghost Festival that lasts about a month) which I'd never actually experienced, the songs were Hokkien and damn Beng and the costumes were so outrageously over the top. So I dragged Sean along to catch it. I thought the show on average was rather glitzy and beng but still enjoyable except for the draggy, weepy bit at the end though Sean proclaimed to be bored.

The songs (and after-images of outrageous costumes and feathered boas) however remained firmly entrenched in my mind and I found myself subconsciously humming along to the decidedly Hokkien-Beng lyrics. So I went to get the soundtrack lo. A lot of Singaporeans must have been similarly affected, for I was informed at two of the Sembawang Music store branches I went to that the Pa Pa Yeoh(881) soundtrack was sold out and they had no more stocks. Apparently, there's an inner Hokkien spouting Ah Beng/Ah Lian wannabe in most Singaporeans.

HMV though proved to be a life saver and it didn't matter if it cost more than at Sembawang, I would have bought it if it cost 40 bucks. That's how bad the Beng-ness was that night. The Soundtrack CD while short did not disappoint the awakened Beng. Blasting the familiar getai numbers from the movie helped to make the still-ongoing drilling much more bearable.

My personal favourite remains the touching yet Beng-y tear jerker song at the end of the movie, Last Breath. Here's the Youtube video showing the MingZhu sisters (who were singing the songs for the Papaya Sisters in the movie) performing the song which looks more moving than that draggy hospital scene at the end of the movie. (Video has been removed from Youtube.)

The popular One Half theme song with the 'Ji Lang Ji Phua, Gam Qing Buai Suah..' opening comes a close second. But I thought the way the twin sisters May and Choy sung their hokkien getai songs was really cute. It had a nice, strange english accented twinge to their hokkien techno songs, yet they sung with such gusto and maxed out the bitchiness in the bad girl characters they were playing that I find their english-influenced hokkien techno songs more attractive than the actual getai singers who recorded for the Original Soundtrack album.

You can judge for yourselves in this Youtube video of May and Choy singing 'Lose Control - Dong Buai Diao' in a live getai event the 881 members participated in shortly after the release of the film. Sadly, they weren't singing the song I thought they did the best 'Bad Times' and they were singing with more gusto in the movie. They were certainly way way bitchier in the movie and their costumes were well, spiky and all dominatrix like.^^



Sean has been subconsciously affected, after listening to the album I'd ripped onto my Creative player, he hummed the One Half tune softly all the way as we were making our way to the stadium to view the fireworks. Everyone has an inner Beng or Lian in them, like it or not. And sometimes, if only for a while, he or she needs to be let out, just to hang loose and be unabashedly beng.

I'll leave you here with the MingZhu Sisters' 'Wild Flowers', another song in the movie. Wa ai zho xiao lian gei. Eh sai buai?



Update: If you liked 881, You'll love Hairspray the movie.