Fast forward

Looking back at the most recent posts, I realized that they've largely either been the depressive emo kind or invariably start off along the lines of "I haven't blogged for so long but here's what's happened so far". The emo depressive posts, on hindsight, are a little too emo for my liking; painting the picture of an emotionally challenged individual beset by many unhappy issues. Though that was how I truly felt then. And it was just many problems caused by a single individual. Who is no longer in a position to give any more problems or make my life miserable. Amazing how the simplest and most efficient solution can sometimes be the hardest to make. Even if it's there, screaming at you in the face.

Sometimes you scream back in the hope that it'll shut up when really the solution (so,sometimes and after due consideration) is to embrace it. Treating the problems often work though if it's something more pervasive and entrenched, removing the tumor is the only solution. But I digress. No qualms about using the same old phrase for the simple reason that it's true. A little uncreative perhaps but no one dies from a lack of original prose. From boredom perhaps. But I doubt reading the same line for three consecutive posts is going to send anyone into cardiac arrest. And thus I begin

I havent blogged for a while, for which i make no apologies, and yes loads has happened since. Dirty men getting dirtier, the rise and fall of a tumultuous relationship, forging of greater bonds with friends(some people have a rubber definition of such, and they are usually the saddest sort of sods around), some very unwanted drama and the contrast between friends who are there for you and "friends" who are volatile and seem to think the only way to get your attention is to make your life miserable.

If anything these past few months have reiterated the deeply held notion that talk is cheap if not backed up by sincerity and the basic tenet of honesty. Incidental to this was the mild sense of disbelief that the notion that something should never be said and once said, the necessary consequences must be paid, was alien to some. Just as baffling if not more so was the discovery that for some lying was Not meant to simply deceive but a necessary activity to 'allay and comfort' others while hopefully magically resolving all problems. You know you have a serious serious problem when the other half has no problems lying through his/her teeth because he genuinely thinks that's the best for you and the relationship. Bullocks.

Which kind of reminds me of that oldies song with the refrain that goes "..tell me lies tell me sweet little lies baby baby tell me lies.." Anyone in his/her right frame of mind who wants to be lied to should be sent to the asylum. I can understand the classic " do I look fat in this?" dilemma. But anything else is clearly unacceptable. At the end of the day, I've come to realize that it is ESSENTIAL that you be on the same page with your partner on the fundamental issues which to me includes trust and honesty. It may not be SUFFICIENT to keep a relationship going but it is essential. A splendid house built on sand collapses sooner or later. And I wish I could say ours was splendid. It was great at the good times, a semi-d at serangoon gardens perhaps. Certainly not a nassim road mansion. But that's life and the experiences are not something I regret. As David often stoically puts it, cest la vie.

Enjoying life with friends and doing the things I've always enjoyed is a refreshing change and I would say I've been able to move on relatively quickly. Even chatting with an affable dude I'd lost touch with since last year but taking things slow. The goal may be the destination but the fun's all in the journey:)

In other news been ktving quite a fair bit thanks to you know who you peeps are(hugggz) and trying ( but failing haha) to brush up on my Chinese for the cheena songs in the process. Current FOTM( flavor of the month:)) include songs by the hottie Andy hui and Faye Wong :) Haven't neglected the English hits though, current favorite on repeat on the playlist is raunchy Rihanna's S&M. Fantastic MTV to boot haha Rihanna is my goddess...right after Gaga :)



"I may be bad but I'm perfectly good at it. Sex in the air, I dont care I like the smell of it. Stick and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me. " ;)

And no I'm not into S&M but I loveeee this song!
Nananana come on!;)

Whisper from the Abyss.

I stare ahead, into the darkness and the Abyss stares back at me. As my world slowly crumbles around me. The unescapable sounds of disintegration, my only company.

Curtain Call -2010

And so a year comes to an end. It's been a rollercoaster ride of sorts. Domestic life isn't all bliss, it has its up and downs. Laughs and exasperated sighs. The thing about staying together really is that you're practically in each other's face the entire week, which is where the compromise and the need to communicate come in handy. Some might not be as good as communicating as others but its still necessary to avoid misunderstandings.

And yes personal space is still important. We live together, we love each other, well hopefully, but we still need our space. Even if we compromise on other things. But no one touches my WoW, for now. hahahaha. Anyway New Year's around the corner. The usual new beginnings, new resolutions hopefully not to be broken within the first couple of weeks or so. Lol.

Ironically, the loved one may not be spending New Year's Eve with me but sick people have to rest. In the meantime, I think tonight should be enjoyable. And did I mention how bloody enjoyable WoW is? I cannot tell you how glad I was to sex/Race change Errath, a boring, beefy old man to Sepharael, a nubile, lilthe night elf. Even if the racials aren't fantastic but visual is v important to me now. Got tired of staring at an old man's ass for what, almost 3 years (excluding the hiatus from WoW)? Now chant with me, Lvl 85, lvl 85! hahaha.

Anyway, for what it's worth, happy new year y'all. Enjoy the time with friends, family and loved ones. Not necessarily in that order. And yes if you need to, have that New Year bonk. Things are so much better when you're semi ineberiated and with a loved one/ favourite sex buddy isn't it?

The Awakening

Errath woke to the sound of his hacking coughs, prodded awake by the constant aches in his body. The Sundering had come to pass and his health had deteriorated steadily since. The trials and tribulations of the constant adventuring and front line battles in the diverse places of Azeroth ranging from the depths of the earth against power hungry dragons to the icy wastes of Northrend against a megalomaniac warmonger had taken their toll.

All the healing he'd received had simply served to slow the decline, not reverse it. After all, there was only a certain number of times one could mend a threadbare cloth before it disintegrated. Death could not be cheated forever and the inexorable march of time was something no man could fight against.

But there was so much to be done and his mind burned as if with fever, keen as ever but constrained by the increasing infirmity of his body. There was no comfort for a young mind trapped in an old body. His one regret was not having an apprentice to pass on his wealth of arcane knowledge to. The wars had claimed the lives of the few apprentices he'd bothered to take under his wing, the promise of fame & glory attracting the other talented ones like moths to a flame. But Errath refused to go without a fight.

'In Kalimdor ere the Sundering, a Priestess of Elune sleeps. Her power is strong but her will is weak. Wake her not by will but by choice and by that choice, submit. Then breath shall become one with no demise.' a sagely druid from the Cenarion Circle advised. Be aware though if you fail, there is no return, he had cautioned. Errath cared not, he would not live much longer anyway. Better to die knowing he had tried than to curse furtively at the dying of the light.

Clearing his mind, Errath commenced the ritual that had taken over a week to prepare. All at once, he was surrounded by multitudinous threads, stretching out as far as the eye could see, many flickering and flashing in and out of existence as people awoke and slept around the world, stronger glowing ones signifying deeper states of consciousness or unconsciousness as the case may be. Concentrating, Errath located that single thread as the druid instructed him, a throbbing emerald green glow, and grasped it. The world spun, blurring into a nauseating swirl of myriad colours, the wind tearing at his very soul.

When Errath opened his eyes, he found himself ankle deep in a cool, crystal clear pool lined by thick lush foliage and delicate ferns, the earthy fragrance of flora native to Kalimdor. Shrouding the foliage immediately beyond the banks was a thick grey mist that barely stirred with the occasional breeze, cool and wet. 'Typical nightelf dream of paradise, a slice of Kalimdor.' Errath mused. 'Now how should I get the Priestess' attention? I doubt she'll be very pleased if I burned down a couple of trees to announce my presence.' And he chuckled at the ludicrosity of the thought.

“What amuses you so human? And why are you here?” a crisp voice emerged from the mist. The mist parted to reveal a tall night elf woman in a shimmery white gown that matched her long snow white hair and regal composure. “I am..” “I am aware you are a mage. You reek of magic. And your archaic affinity with the arcane is palpable to me, even if you have sought to hide it. Now why are you trespassing on my domain?” the night elf interjected.

Errath raised his eyebrows at this observation. “So you can sense my presence. It is true after all, you certainly possess a great affinity for magic, more than most of your kind. I am here simply to offer up my entire knowledge and memories of the archaic arts to one who may continue the fight in my stead. I believe you are that one.” The night elf looked startled for a moment but quickly regained her composure. “I am a priestess of Elune and we have not practised magic since the corruption of Sunwell. We have no need of it.”

“Ah but you've always been a priestess out of a sense of duty haven't you? And did you not ever feel that strange yearning desire for more. That seemingly dark unspoken urge for the forbidden archaic arts?” Errath countered. The female night elf stared at him silently, the shine in her eyes accentuated by the reflection in the pool.

“Things have changed now. The Sunwell is restored and magic is no longer banned amongst your kind. Even now many are rediscovering the old arts in the effort to fight against the abyssal forces of Deathwing.” Errath continued. “But I am happy here. I have lived without magic for so long and can do without” came the reply.

“But are you really? When in the waking world all living things are threatened by the Cataclysmic forces unleashed upon us and doom only awaits those who don't resist?” “Stop lecturing me human, I have lived many a Spring more than you comprehend the threats to our world all too clearly” the night elf snapped. Errath sighed softly,“Yes, but you won't be able to assist while in this world would you?”

“What do you want?” she asked, affixing her cold crystal green eyes on his. “To pass you my entire mastery of elemental magics, the memories and friends, that you may continue the fight my body no longer allows me to take.” The night elf sighed. “Humans and their short lives, they blaze in glory in their prime and splutter out just as quickly. Which may be good too. Long lives means long memories and possibly unbearable grief.”

“Even so, I have not been able to leave this place.” the night elf indicated with a wave of her hand the surroundings. “It is at once my sanctuary and prison. Penance I must make for my incompetence in the conduct of my priestly duties.” Errath shook his head. “Hardly. It's your guilt that's weighing you down and your refusal to acknowledge your arcane talents that leaves you powerless to escape this finely wrought refuge. But if you agree, I can show you how.”

“Words of wisdom sometimes come from the mouths of babes.” With that, the night elf turned away from Errath, silent. Errath found it objectionable that a man over 80 years old should be called a babe but decided that it was not the best time to raise it. The night elf stood silent for so long that Errath was expecting her to turn him down, when she spoke again, back still facing him. “Tell me, mage, what is your name?”

“Errath, mistress”. He replied, using the honorific usually used by night elves for a servant of Elune. Turning, she said “From today, you are not Errath but Sepharael. And for the first time, the night elf smiled, a warm smile like a sliver of moonlight dancing on the cool, clear lake. “Sepharael, the mage.” “Come.” still smiling, the night elf extended her hand to Errath. Who reached for it with his gnarly hand, a grin on his face.

A continent away, an old man shuddered and breathed his last. The hiss of escaping breath not detracting from the smile on his face. Leagues away, a female nightelf roused from her slumber, fire in her eyes. “There is much to be done.” Beckoning at her two surprised attendants to follow, Sepharael strode out of the chambers, attendants in tow.

至少還有你

Settled down. It's been a tempestuous couple of weeks. Generally on that continuing high, the mundane aspect of chores and settling various household necessities not detracting from that high. On the contrary, it's become an enjoyable routine of sorts, the sense of ownership ironically present now where it was once lacking. Even the occasional visits to and interactions with the Family have changed slightly. Less abrasive though no less naggy replete with the usual bigoted narrow minded ravings about homosexuality & low income neighbourhoods. But whatever.

These few months, I've come to appreciate the value and camaraderie of true friendships, unpretentious and sincere warmth, the sincerity and desire to aid without the sarcasm, 2-faced backbiting and self-serving manipulations. Reviving old friendships and forging new ones. Promulgating dissension in a divide and control strategy might be a good strategy for subjugating your enemies. It certainly has no place in friendships.

In other news, the KTV bug is still going strong. Hur hur. We have an extensive repertoire now. Doubt they were quite expecting the gospel-ish 'Swing Low Sweet Chariot' Hahaha. Finally found that song by Sandy Lam, which reminds me, I should get round to finding Sandy Lam's delicious recipe for Fried Freshwater Prawns. I'll probably get her 'My Shanghai' cookbook too. Yummms.

至少還有你



For if anything, there's always you. :)